Pool and Spurs

Suarez at home

Suarez wants to leave Liverpool.  Fact!  No question about it.  Who wouldn't want to?  It seems as though the only people who are surprised by this are the Liverpool fans.  Why?  Because they're stupid?  Possibly.  But, probably, because they have the opinion their team will win the title next season.  Why would Suarez want to leave that?  All sorts of reasons for winning arise:  Stevie G'll win us the league; now Hodgson has gone we'll win the league; now we have dalglish; now we have Downing; now Dalglish has left; now Suarez can shoot straight. Yet, the fact of the matter is, Suarez does not win you a championship; one man does not carry a team to the top of the league.  Fourth place maybe; with luck, third; but never a win.  Suarez knows this; that's why he's talking about leaving.  He's done well at Liverpool; no doubt about that; but if he wants to win, he needs to leave.  Liverpool are not the club they once were; they don't have championship winning players; and they can't afford them.  Until that changes, the fans are going to have to get used to their best players leaving

Aaron Lennons trains with a rock

Talking of fools - Ledley King - Poor old timer has gone and gotten his mind in a twist; thinks Spurs can win the title.  WHAT?  Come on Ledley, Spurs are more of a one man team than Liverpool.  For sure, Bale is one hell of a man but he ain't going to win you a title; especially when you consider the rest of the team.
Who could help?  Aaron Lennon?  Not likely; he's all cubes - boxy head, boxy arms, boxy body; boxy legs - all edges and corners.  Not good when it comes to crossing a ball and, hey, that's what wingers do.  All Lennon does is scamper like he's running on hot coals; scampers to the line and kicks it out of play; ball hits an edge, that's what's going to happen.  Aaron Lennon?  No.
Who else - Jermaine Defoe - too old and too selfish.  He'll never score enough goals.  You can't trust a striker who once went a year (A YEAR!) without scoring.  And he's spurs' only striker; unless you count Adebayor but he's lazier than a teenager on valium.
I'm wasting my time considering this.  Fact is Spurs are not going to challenge for the league and, like Suarez,  Bale is going to want to leave.

No, I think football fans are going to have to face up to the fact that the title resides in Manchester; any hopes it might escape are simply ludicrous.  

Shit Gossip - Good Guys for England

Leighton Baines turns up to the England camp carrying a guitar.  Yup, this is the kind of shit that football dredges up from time to time.  So what if Leighton Baines turns up to an England camp carrying a guitar?  And, looking at him, you know he'll play all the wrong tunes: Oasis instead of Blur; The Beatles instead of the Stones; Primal Scream instead of the Stone Roses; but, hey, at least he's a nicer guy than Ashley Cole.  Cole optimises the word prick; meet him and you'd want to hit him or stick a pencil in his eye or rub his face in shit or slice his face off with a blunt scalpel; his arrogance is unbearable.

This got me thinking - England are never going to win anything; why not pick the nice guy?  Drop the Cunt.  Who goes?

Joe Hart -  He loves himself  and he's in a shampoo advert where he's patted like a overly groomed shitpoo.

John Terry  - Shags everybody: Team mates; team mates' wives; team mates' wives' dogs; lampposts; cheese and onion pasties; anything.

Ashley Cole  - See above

Frank Lampard - is willing to bend over and let John Terry fuck him up the ass.

England wouldn't miss much if these guys were dropped and at least we wouldn't feel dirty supporting them.  Take not Roy  - Pick the good guy.

Carrying Buffoons

This is a blog about football.  Why now?  Why, with 9 games to go (and I'm talking premier league football and not that awful football that slumbers in the lower leagues), would a person want to begin to discuss football?  Why not?  It's not as if the show ends.  Even over summer an endless, diarrhoeal stream of gossip invades our lives and builds our hopes.  So why not now; there's always room for some new goon to appear on the scene and spread tripe to the masses.

Manchester United Midfield

With this in mind, let's move to the subject of this first post, the Manchester United Midfield clear-out; the news, this week, that United plan to castrate Paul Scholes, Luis Nani and Oli Anderson.  Let's take them each in turn.